I guess it’s safe to say that today wasn’t the most productive of writing days. I was still able to edit 1800 words. I was able to work on some dialogue and fix up some description. But I wasn’t able to get into the swing of things as much as I normally do.
I suppose there are a thousand different reasons as to why that may be. I’m only going to list a few of them.
The first is that my writing session didn’t start off the way it normally does. I came to Starbucks as usual (though not the one I usually go to in the morning) and ordered my green tea. I didn’t find a good seat like I normally do straight away, but after a short wait that was taken care of. The problem was that by that time, though, I had gotten into checking out live performances on YouTube of a Canadian band called The Acorn. I had also started to people watch.
The videos were good. The people watching was okay.
There was an old man that came in wearing a dark blue suit that I think he must’ve worn in his younger days. He had gold rings and thick glasses, and I couldn’t help but wonder why he was dressed like that today. I also couldn’t help but wonder what his story was. I imagined everything from movie producer to gangster. I’m sure none of my guesses were correct.
Then walked in another older man (though not as old as the first) carrying around a Mason jar filled with water. At first, I had no idea why he was carrying it. And even when I watched him drink from it, I still had no idea why he was carrying it. I’d like to think there are a lot more things to carry your water around in that are a lot more convenient than a Mason jar. I didn’t even see a lid for it.
I saw another man working on a computer. He’s still here. He looks more into things than I do. And, trust me, I get pretty focused when I work. Scarily so. And another man on another computer with a broken foot that he’s rested up on a chair beside him.
So, no, I wasn’t able to focus much on my writing: my mind was on other things.
Another big reason that I struggled today (again, only one of a thousand) is that The King’s Son (the book I’m working on now) is my second book (Glory being the first) and I’ve found myself faced with a lot of doubt as to whether or not it’s as good as the first one. I wonder if it shows any improvement in my writing, if I could make things better. I wonder if people will be interested in it, if they’ll be disappointed.
These are things I usually try to avoid thinking about. Most of the time, they’re based on nothing more than fear. And, as such, I don’t find them productive, nor all that accurate.
But, nonetheless, they’ve been creeping into my writing sessions more and more each day. And that’s something I’m going to have to figure out.
Okay, it’s time to take a break from putting words onto the page. When I come back, in addition to trying to figure out my doubts, I think I might get into my decision about coming back to Canada and, at 41 years of age, moving in with my mom. It isn’t as glamorous as it might sound.