When I sit down to write a story, the words seem to spill out of me. I don’t fight them. I don’t try to change them. They simply fill the page. That hasn’t been the case with my blog entries. I have found it difficult to write them. So much so that I takes days, even weeks, in between posts.
It isn’t that I don’t want to write. I do. I think this blog can be a great way to get out to the public to exchange ideas and promote my writing. The problem is that every time I sit down to write something I start to stress about how others will perceive it. Or, better yet, perceive me. I worry about how I might come off if I say what’s really on my mind, all of the time.
The funny thing is that I don’t really worry about this in my daily life. I often get into serious discussions about serious topics and I rarely hold back. Since I was a child I’ve been encouraged to say what is on my mind and to stick up for what I believe. But, this blog has proven to be something different. It’s definitely more challenging.
I suppose that a lot of it comes down to my desire to sound “professional”. I had been told that this blog would be my gateway to the public and, because of that, I wanted my entries to appear more like news articles than the pages from a diary. I wanted everything to be well thought out and polished. I wanted to make sure that all of my sentences made sense and my train of thought followed a logical progression.
But, the truth of the matter is that this isn’t working for me.
This isn’t to say that I want to start writing random thoughts whenever they occur to me. I don’t want to confuse the reader with my ramblings and ideas. But, I do think there’s something to be said for having my writing sound more like it’s from a diary. It seems more honest that way. More me.
I don’t know if I’m actually going to be able to follow through on this. I think it will be hard for me to switch from formal to informal, but I’m going to try. I think I owe it to myself and to my writing. And I owe it to you.
Just consider yourself warned. 😉